Entries
{Monday, January 10, 2011 @ 12:06 PM}
in a bid to lose weight, i stopped eating most meats. this is a stupid move. i thought it'll help but apparently not. all that it's done to me is weaken my immune system, and i'm falling sick so often it's annoyed me to the point where i'm just like URGH. and i'm still living in denial because i refuse to get diagnosed and i'm currently still down with a horrendous cough since LAST YEAR. even if it had only been 2-3 weeks.
i refuse to say i'm weak. or that i'm sick. and i know it's a real challenge on my body, that i'm just letting them cells fight their own battle without any external forces, aka medicines, to aid them. because i'm still walking/talking and unless i feel nauseous, or am sleepy or feel like fainting or too cold to function, i wont go to the doctor's. but self medication is not helping! i've finished a whole woods and the god damn cough is still there.
this is utter bollocks. i have never been this "unhealthy" in my life. have always been a fit and hyper chick. and i'm not anymore. being fat and not jogging as much as i used to plus the stupd change in diet, that's stupid man. i think all i'm doing is training my willpower. i'm putting myself on the spot just to see if i can make it through. havent touched beef/pork/mutton/veal or any meats other than poultry and seafood. this has got to be a feat no? it's been more than a year!
but it's no use. and all i want is to be tough again. i wna be assured that i can beat the crap out of people. not that i've done it before. but i wna be able to protect myself. to be able to break a penis in 2. should there ever be a need.
Labels: you'll never know.
