Entries
{Monday, August 06, 2012 @ 3:02 PM}
I wish people see you for who you are. Not what you are. It sucks that this life is so fucking superficial and it hurts so much when I can't share my joy of finding you. Of finally having smth to look forward to. To be enthusiastic about.
Because I agree. We shouldn't have even started. it was a stupid idea and it was bound to be met with obstacles. I guess we just didn't think how badly it would be. Or would have become. I mean it was only company we were craving. To be cherished by someone. To be taken care of. To know that we can turn to someone and not have to turn to people who've been in our lives since birth. To be entertained with the wit and intellect.
Did you really think I would go for a bum? Why must race be of such importance? Chinese men have been nothing but jerks. Why would I want to subject myself to such humiliation yet again? If that has nothing to do with race, then should I just stop looking for guys altogether?
You guys are skeptics. All of you. You can't tell a decent person even if he stood in front of you. Because you refuse to believe that there are good people in the world. Because you think you've been there and you know. No form of persuasion is going to make you change your perception of him, purely because of his background.
You want to protect me and look out for me? Maybe get to know him before you start judging him. That's what I did and the only tears that have been brought out are the ones of our circumstance. Because we know it'll never last, and we live in that moment. But this external pressure to succumb to social norms, it kills me. It kills us both.
I was smitten by him. His charm, confidence, wit, and in my opinion, good looks. His demeanour, effortless and yet thought out so thoroughly. He's a technical guy. It's in his nature to think things through.
We thought this through.
But you know what? It doesn't matter anymore.
