Entries
{Saturday, April 06, 2013 @ 11:13 AM}
i was always fascinated by the art of psychology. but i never knew much about it. in fact, i really didnt want to learn that much, as delving into such deep murky waters as the human form contains, will probably ruin me pretty badly. haha.
trying to relate to myself and everyone around me, now that's scary. but it's a norm for one to do that isnt it? trying to find closure, as psychology would say. right now, this vast empty space that's been filled with too much information about the human life form, it's getting a lil crowded and i want to close it. but i cant, not without trying to see who fits into the description. but ah psychology. how intriguing a subject that i really wouldnt mind studying, even if it isnt exactly my major.
and then i guess what really matters is whether we can reap what we sow. and i'm probably just lucky, i dont know. but hey, studying for 3 hours straight, going for lecture, then back to studying for another 3 hours, simply to finish 2 chapters. that's hardcore. even going to the end of the other class to speak with the prof and get some explanations.
but you know what, i'm glad i did. because HEYYY. i did fucking well on my mid terms! 39/40! and highest in class too! hee hee. never felt so shocked and happy at the same time. was expecting to do well, but not thissss well. if ya know whut i mean.
then 10 mins into getting our paper back, prof said she marked one question wrongly, and WHUT? 40/40?! fuck yeah babeh. i got full marks! can you say best present ever? :,D people were congratulating me and that felt weird. like i accomplished something in life that would eventually be given. and i didnt know how to react to it.
mommy thinks it's because i'm Neurotic, hence i was able to score in psychology. haha. she says i'm too difficult a person to deal with and that my mood was what really motivates people to either speak to me, or not. should have said something along the lines of "arent you glad someone took me off your hands!"
and then there was you. you said "well done" and i felt so much better. because you knew it was my own effort that made me score well. not from some random outside factors. and you, dealing with me. the anxiety, anger, guilt and pessimistic nature i possess. and suddenly it didnt matter what anyone said. because you righted it.
right now, i'm just basking in the self fulfilling prophecy and waiting to see how well i'd do the next test. i'm excited for exams all over again.
